You ever just been sitting there, doing whatever it is you do, and suddenly remember something you should/would/could’ve done differently in the past? I try to combat that type of thinking with, “You don’t know what you don’t know.” A good friend of mine combats it by reminding herself that, “I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time.” I like hers because it’s almost life an affirmation in past tense. Writing these Love List posts requires me to do a lot of self evaluation. Although I feel like I’ve always been big on loving me, I can be hard on myself. As I thought about times I was hard on myself, I realized most of them fell into one of three areas of my life: money, weight gain, and goal setting. They’re the three areas that seem to trip me up and they’re the three areas where I have learned that though it’s okay to set goals, it’s also okay to accept where I am in this very moment. So here’s a list (or three) of all the ways to you can work towards accepting yourself so you can love yourself!
43 Ways to Love Yourself
This message was supposed to go live around my birthday. It represented something I had to learn during my 32 years on this planet. My birthday was July 29th and “You Are Human” didn’t go up until October so clearly that didn’t happen. I felt a way about it but rather than stress myself out (again), I decided to step back and say,
“Hey…..you got a lot going on right now. Work is super busy. You have 8000 Love U Too ideas you want to work on. It’s summer and you want to enjoy it. You have trips planned. You also have a work trip coming up. You have stuff to do around your house. You got a lot of stuff to do! And you’re only one person.YOU CAN ONLY DO WHAT YOU CAN DO!”
To be honest, this is something I have to say to myself often. So often that my most used personal affirmation is “I can only do what I can do.”
“….in a day.”
“….at this moment.”
“….with the information I have.”
“….with what I have.”
“….and that is okay.”
Because it is okay. I don’t know about you but I live alone. I work well over 40 hours a week. I own a house. I’m trying to be in control of my health. I do everything myself for this site. I have ideas for other projects all the time. And like everyone else, I still need time to eat, sleep, relax, and enjoy life. So while I CAN get a lot done in a small amount of time, I am getting better at realizing that I don’t have to. It’s not fair to me (nor my health) to spend my nights and weekends working on EVERYTHING I can’t do when I’m at work.
After evaluating my to-do list(s), I decided it’s reasonable for me to touch 1-2 areas of my life every night after work and up to 3 on the weekend. This allowed me to go to bed 30 minutes later so I can eat dinner, wind down, AND work on Love U Too in the evenings. It helped me see that working out in the morning works better for me. And it allowed me to save more involved tasks for the weekends. Most importantly, it’s helping me forgive myself if something doesn’t get done today….or next week….or for a couple months. (Like this blog post that was on my to-do list for 2 months before it finally got done!)
So if you’re going to work on accepting yourself at all, the first thing you have to do is be willing to forgive yourself! And just in case you’re reading this and thinking some things are unforgivable, I’m here to tell you there are very few things that aren’t. Forgive yourself and:
- Accept the past
- Focus on the good (in you)
- Learn from your mistakes
- Do what you can
- Rethink your routines
- Take care of yourself
- Declutter your space(s)
- Reorganize your home
- Question your beliefs
- Start over
- Pick up where you left off
- Be nice to yourself
Appreciate Your Body.
I’ve talked about traveling for work before but in case you didn’t know, I am Art Director at an ad agency. Sometimes I get to travel to shoot TV commercials. In August, I traveled to Lake Tahoe to do a tv shoot at the 20th Annual Rubicon Trail Jeep Jamboree. This place is rocky, hilly, and between 5000-6000 feet above sea level. The air is thin and dry. There’s very little hope for a cell signal and everything I wore ended up COVERED in dust.
I have asthma so I expected to get winded. But recently, I have also been slowly getting back on track with my fitness. I did almost two rounds of a 21-Day Challenge and I got back into doing step aerobics. So what I didn’t expect was my legs to NOT hurt for 4 of the 5 days we spent on the trail!
On Day 5, we ended up hiking for almost two hours because Mercury retrograde is real and there was a communication breakdown in regards to our directions. My legs did hurt after that day but I was still proud of how well my body held up. Why? I made it (with breaks, snacks, and gatorade)! My body is not conditioned for that trail and my legs are clearly not long enough to be climbing over some of those rocks. (Seriously, at one point one person had to push me while the other pulled me because my legs were not long enough to make some cracks between rocks O_o) BUT I MADE IT! Where did I make it to? The event’s central campsite where there was a bar full of liquor, snacks, and lunch! Praise God. Amen.
My legs happen to be one of my favorite things about my body. I’m talking top 3 since forever. But even if they weren’t in the top 3, I think it’s important that we all be able see our bodies as amazing. Not just for how they look but for what they can do. My legs literally got me through a lot that week: a lot of walking, hiking, squatting, and standing. My legs are truly outchea being amazing. Your body is probably outchea being amazing too. Show your whole body (not just some of it) some much deserved love and:
- Explore essential oils
- Keep your skin moisturized
- Love on your hair
- Drink water
- Get your checkups
- Move your body
- Sit up straight
- Make something by hand
- Nourish your body
- Get some sleep
- Relax and wind down
- Cover yourself in your fav color
- Wear sexy* underwear
- Compliment your body
- Touch something soft
- Stand in the mirror
- Turn on your fav sounds
Like any good card-carrying Beyhive member, I am deeply inspired by Beyoncé. One of my life goals is to be as good at something as she is as at being an entertainer. And like any good busy body, I can get a lot done in a day. With that said, let me share with you a quote that I absolutely hate:
“You have as many hours in the day as Beyoncé.”
Because I love Beyoncé, people used to send me links to really pretty products with that quote on it. The quote is supposed to inspire us to greatness but really it just sets us up to compare ourselves to someone else. It’s kind of like those “What’s your excuse?” posts. Sure hard work helps us reach our goals but look….life happens and we’re all experiencing it differently. Beyoncé’s 24 hours are NOT same as the rest of ours:
- She has been doing what she does for almost her entire 30+ years on this Earth.
- She has the means to pay others to do things for her.
- She has the ability to gather teams of other amazing people in one place to execute her ideas on grand scales.
I don’t have 30+ years of experience doing ANY of my talents LOL! Not a single one….unless you count being a black girl/woman as a talent!
I do have the means to pay someone to do some tasks for me but the majority of them, I’m doing myself. I’m cooking for myself and cleaning up after myself. Driving myself to and from work each day takes a minimum of an hour out of my day alone!
I do have the ability to Google things and ask some amazing people to help me think through my ideas. But I’m also the one executing the majority of those ideas. Just adding a search bar to this site costed me $80 for a Intro to PHP course (4 hours a day for two days) PLUS another whole weekend to actually figure out how to apply the search bar to the site. Like nothing else got done that weekend but the search bar…..so please search something because a lot of work went into it LOL! 😉
So yes, we all have 24 hours in a day but the quality of those hours is just not the same as Queen Bey’s and that’s okay. Because guess what. I still get things done. I’m still growing my talents daily and my ideas, passion, and thoughts are still reaching you! I don’t have the same quality of hours as Beyoncé but I’m still ensuring that I will be as good at something as she is at being an entertainer. Be the most amazing version of U:
- Stop comparing
- Find what you’re good at
- Practice your talents
- Share your ideas
- Speak up for yourself
- Wear what you want
- Go where you’re accepted (not tolerated)
- Make “child you” smile
- Do what feels right to you
- Discover what makes you happy
- Feel your feelings
- Set boundaries
- Let go of perfection
- Cover yourself in your fav color
What do you love about yourself? What do you want to love about yourself? Let us know in the comments below!
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*Forgiving yourself is so important, I had to say it twice!
*Sexy to you!
Inspiration – Operation Love U – Love List
Love List • Self Love